Sliding Doors
by Drive all night
Summary: If things had gone a little differently in the hotel room... #Burzek
1. To Save A Life

**Probably just a couple of chapters...a palate cleanser if you will. You might need it to get through this week's catastrophe.**

Kim was beside herself. She thumped on the door and screamed "CPD. Open the door." The urgency in her voice was obvious but there was no one around to hear it and whatever was going on inside the room was alternating between loud and violent and quiet. It was like time was standing still.

All the while she held up her phone. "Where the hell are you?"

The sudden screams from inside the room tore through her.

"Kim, we are a minute out. Hang on."

"I can't Hailey, I need to go in."

Adam's heart was in his mouth. This was his worst nightmare. "Kim, what's happening? We are almost there." Kev was driving and there was not a rule they hadn't broken.

"He's killing her, I can hear it. I need to get in there." Kim shot at the base of the door in hopes it would stop whatever was going on inside.

"Kim." Adam screamed desperately.

Suddenly he heard Upton's and Halstead's voices through the radio and Halstead ordered her to stay outside but as soon as they were through the door Kim followed them.

Daniel rushed at them and he lunged at Upton, knocking her backwards and into Kim who stumbled and fell just as Halstead fired a shot, which wounded him but didn't stop him. Upton and Kim struggled to their feet and Kim pushed past and into the bathroom while Upton went to help Halstead take down the offender. That struggle faded in Kim's mind once she got in the bathroom, she trusted them to deal with it and could only see what was in front of her.

The young girl in the bathtub startled her, her lifeless body and eyes made her feel sick and she scrambled and tried to get her out of the bath but couldn't lift her weight, she felt weak all of a sudden so she climbed in, sliding her body under the lifeless one to lift her out of the water in the hope that she was still breathing.

"Kim, Kim are you all right?" She heard Adam's voice and called out to him. Adam rushed through the door, stepping over the chaos in the other room and Upton followed him.

"Help me." She tried to lift her out again but couldn't and Adam dragged her from the bath and left her on the floor for Upton to start CPR. "No, No, No." Kim cried.

As Kim tried to get out of the bath she slipped on fell back into the bath, her upper back catching the faucet and she cried out in pain. Adam reached for her and lifted her out of the water. "You okay?" he tried to get her to respond but she was already fighting him to get free.

"Save her, please save her." She begged when Upton stopped CPR.

"She's gone Kim."

"No." Kim pushed Adam away and he couldn't stop her falling to her knees to start CPR again. They had to try; they couldn't give up.

Hailey put her hand on Kim's arm to stop her and Kim screamed at her. "Don't touch me. Don't fucking touch me."

Adam had to practically restraint Hailey to stop her pulling Kim off the dead girl. Kim was reacting badly and wasn't going to listen to anyone and Adam let her go. They all knew the girl was dead but Kim had to do this, he understood that about her and he just watched and waited for the moment that he could see the realisation hit her and then he'd step in.

His heart was thudding in his chest, his adrenaline coursing through his veins and he'd lift both of them together if he had too. When the call first came through all his fears came bubbling to the surface. She wasn't supposed to be in the field, she was on desk duty, they had left her in the bullpen. How the fuck did she get out here and why? They'd had a few heated discussions about desk duty and finally Kim accepted that it needed to happen.

He did doubt whether Kim had the strength to stay out of the situation. In the end she waited as long as she could. It had nothing to do with her courage, he never doubted her courage. Kim never shied away from putting herself on the line or worried about being first through the door and her heart would always put other people first but he was worried; more like out and out terror and he'd never felt that before.

In that split second could she put their child first, in that very moment would someone else's child win out? He was glad he never had to make that decision; he wasn't sure he was that selfless. He knew he'd do anything to protect her and his child, they'd already been there and it had been an eye opening experience for him. In that moment he realised just how much this child already meant to him.

When the paramedics arrived Kim finally accepted that the girl she was desperate to save was gone and it was devastating for her. Adam saw the light in her eyes disappear and knew in that exact moment she was blaming herself. He lifted her up off the floor and stood her on her feet, she was cold and wet and shaking uncontrollably and for a brief moment she let Adam hold her shoulders to keep her upright.

Voight came in with a face like thunder but it softened when he spoke to Kim. "This can't happen again." he took her away from the room, it was crawling with cops and paramedics. "Kim, I let you stay on the case because it was your catch but this isn't what I meant."

"I know."

"Now you need to go to Med and get checked out." Halstead had told Voight that Kim had been knocked over at least once and he'd seen her in the bathroom, dripping wet and wasn't sure how that happened.

"I'm fine."

"It wasn't a suggestion. Get someone to take you."

As soon as Ruzek knew that Voight was sending her to hospital he insisted on taking her. He had already told her he wanted her checked out and she had refused, and not politely either but she couldn't refuse Voight. He had hoped that his Boss would insist on it.

"Are you okay?" He asked when he got her into the car.

"I'm fine." Kim snapped.

"Okay." Adam exhaled slowly. He had so much to say and he felt his body shaking and was struggling to figure out what was making him feel that way, what precisely he was feeling.

"Go on say it. You know you want too?"

'Say what?"

"Some lecture about not being in the field, and all that shit you go on about." He'd been her verbal punching bag on more than one occasion, he had to let it roll off him but that was easier said than done.

"I'm not going to say anything. I just want to know if you are okay."

"You want to know if your baby is okay. It's your kid remember." She snarked at him, a throw back to when he had told her that she was pregnant with his kid and if she didn't like him doing whatever he could to keep her safe he didn't really give a shit. It had been a catalyst to them finally sitting down and talking but it still had rattled her at the time and she'd been angry.

"Kim, are you okay?" he repeated slowly. He wasn't buying into that argument right now. If he said what he was really thinking he'd be an asshole. Yes he was pissed she'd put herself in danger and their baby, but he was pissed because he was terrified and that feeling was uncontrollable. He'd been terrified since the moment her voice came over their radios. Even now he still had a pit in his stomach. It wasn't just that she put herself in a situation that was dangerous but also he was pissed at himself for not being there.

"She's dead Adam, because I hesitated."

"You did what you always do, put someone before yourself. This time it was your unborn child."

"How do I tell her parents that? How do I tell them that I heard him murdering her and did nothing." Kim whispered quietly, all the fight and anger draining out of her. "How do I tell them that my child was more important than theirs?"

"I don't know. Start with I am sorry for your loss." He didn't really know how to answer that, but wasn't that what being a parent was? Putting your child before all else, protecting them, keeping them safe? That was your job and just because her child wasn't born yet didn't mean it meant any less. "And Kim, you saved 19 other girls and all those future girls who were destined for the same life."

She lurched forward and screamed. It was an agonising cry of desperation of grief and heartache and Adam tightened his grip on the steering wheel. His heart was tearing listening to her pain.

Suddenly she sucked in a deep breath and pushed her body back into the car seat.

"What is it?"

"My stomach."

"Where? Is it the baby?"

"I think so."

Adam pushed his foot to the floor; they were almost at Med and he flicked on the lights and sirens. Everyone needed to get out of his fucking way. "Is it bad? What's happening? Talk to me Kim."

"I don't know Adam." Kim cried, clutching her stomach. "I don't know."


	2. Terror

Maggie saw them the moment Adam carried her through the door. He couldn't find a wheelchair and wasn't waiting for someone to get one for her. "Help her Maggie."

"Follow me." She found them a room and Adam insisted that they get an OBGYN consult. He didn't want a random Doctor, he didn't want to waste time.

He watched Kim lying on the bed, her eyes closed but that did stop the tears nor the fear that he could see oozing from her. He was only grateful that Kim held onto his hand, if he tried to move she would hang on tighter. She was terrified, but couldn't open her eyes, she didn't want to see the reality of their situation. She didn't want to see Adam's fear.

After asking a few questions about the pregnancy so far, how far long she was and if there had been any problems the Doctor, Dr Wolfe eventually got down to what was happening now for which Adam was grateful, he just needed to know they were both okay.

"Any bleeding?"

"No, no don't think so." He asked if he could take a look and check and Adam had never been so terrified in his whole life.

It was strange watching him lift her gown and ask her to spread her legs a little, it felt intrusive and he'd be lying if he didn't get a little pissed off. He did remember his sister telling him that once you had kids all sense of prudishness was blown out of the water. In the end you just didn't care who looked at it. "No, no bleeding."

"Well that's a good sign right?" Adam queried. He needed to know everything. He needed to ask questions because Kim wasn't at the moment, she was kind of on auto-pilot and almost detached.

"It is." Dr Wolfe nodded and then set up the Ultrasound machine so he could run a scan. "Let's take a look."

Kim's hand squeezed Adam's tightly and he tried not to break hers with his death grip either.

"There you go." The Doctor turned up the volume and they could hear the heartbeat of their baby. "Nice strong heartbeat. It all looks perfectly good in there, however…." Wiping over the probe and replacing it he turned to Kim "…if you keep doing what you are doing you may not be so lucky next time. The bigger your baby gets the less the protection from outside forces."

"Okay." Kim's obvious lack of concern didn't just bother Adam, the Doctor was also perplexed.

"Kim, I'm serious here. You can't keep doing this. Not if you want to carry this baby to term."

"Sure, I got it." She let go of Adam's hand and he felt the shift in the air of the room.

"Fine, anyway I will need you to stay overnight."

"What for?"

"Just as a precaution. Some bed rest and give everything a chance to settle down a bit."

Kim shook her head. "I can't stay, I've got work to do."

"Kim, we can handle it. Just stay tonight."

"Don't tell me what to do." She snapped at Adam. Something had definitely changed. Now that she knew the baby was okay it was like she had packed that away and was back to hating on him.

Dr Wolfe was a smart man, he picked up on his patient's mood. "Kim, do you want to continue with this pregnancy?"

"Yes."

"Then you need to stay here tonight. At the moment things look good but the next few hours are critical. I strongly suggest you stay tonight, on bed rest. Otherwise it could be bed rest for a lot longer."

"Fine."

Kim closed her eyes as soon as the Doctor left and Adam didn't really know what to do. "You can go." She finally spoke once she realised he was sitting beside her bed.

"I can go get you some things from home. Some Pj's, dry clothes, a book to read, your iPad?" Adam offered.

"I'll be fine. You can go back to work." Adam shuffled nervously. "Seriously Adam go back to work. Can you please find out about Emily. I need to talk to her parents. I need to apologise."

"I know you've got to do this, but I don't know what to say."

"I know what you want to say, you want to say you are happy that the baby is okay. That's all you care about." The anger and bitterness was hard to ignore but he had to swallow it. It was like a red hot poker though. He tried to understand her anger and to some degree he did, the loss of that girl was tragic and knowing Kim as well as he did he knew how much that would have crushed her listening to that and not being able to help. On the other hand he was relieved his baby was safe and he was relieved she was safe. Those two meant more to him than anything.

Adam spoke calmly and quietly. "I'm going to go and let you get some rest, I'll pick you up some stuff and be back soon. I'll keep you in the loop with the case." Despite how closed off she was he bent down and pressed his lips to the top of his head. "You know where I am if you need me."

Kim didn't answer but the moment he left she felt suddenly alone. It scared her and she held her hands over her stomach protectively. She felt a crushing weight because she was glad her baby was safe but she wasn't ready to admit that to anyone, she didn't want anyone thinking that she was heartless, that she didn't do everything she could for her own selfish reasons. She didn't want to see disappointment in someone else's eyes.

Adam's legs felt like lead as he trudged up the front steps of the District. As soon as he spied Platt he knew he wasn't getting past her without stopping. "How is she?"

Adam leant on the desk, suddenly needing to take the weight off his legs. "Okay I guess. All's good, the baby is fine. It's Kim I'm worried about."

"In what way?"

"She'd punishing herself for not going into the room and letting the girl die."

"She said that?"

"Not really." Adam shrugged. "I just get that sense, ya know. Anyway she's staying overnight, which is annoying her. I'm gonna head back soon."

Trudy squeezed his forearm. "Anything I can do?"

"Maybe try and give her a call, she might pick up but really I think she just needs a bit of space and time." He made a move to leave but Platt held his arm steady.

"And you?"

"I'm okay. I'm good." He nodded. He was lying and Platt knew it. These two were too bloody single minded and stubborn, precisely why they could never quite get it together. She watched him go and the slump of his shoulders told her everything she needed to know.

As he came up the stairs everyone swung around to look at him. It was strange, they were obviously tying up the case so everyone was doing something and he didn't know what to do. "Hey, How's Burgess?" Kev was the first to speak as Voight came out of his office.

"Staying the night, she's okay, a bit knocked around but it's all good."

Kevin tilted his head. "All?"

"Yep." Adam felt like the baby was overwhelming everything. It's all people wanted to know and of course he was relieved everything was okay but he got the distinct impression that Kim would hate it if that was all people were worried about. She'd told him just as much. "She's just getting some rest." He slung his jacket over the back of his chair and picked up his coffee mug, he needed a serious jolt.

Voight followed him into the break room and closed the door. "Kim's doing it tough right? Is it about the girl?"

"Yeah, yeah." Adam added a couple of sugars to his coffee and then turned to face Voight and leant against the bench. "You know Kim, she tries and wants to save everybody." He sighed and tried to choose his words carefully. "Am I an asshole for saying that I am okay that she stayed out because it protected my baby? I feel like I am."

"No Adam, everything has changed for you now. That's being a Dad." Voight shoved his hands in his pockets. They were shaking a little, he understood Adam's struggle. He'd been a father, he was a father. "Doesn't matter that you haven't met them yet."

"Has the notification been done yet?"

"Not yet, just waiting on confirmation. You wanna do it?"

"Yeah, is that okay?" He knew at some stage Kim was going to want to see them, she wouldn't be able to help herself and she'd need to do it to move on. He wanted to do this for her, even if right now he doubted she would appreciate it and part of him wanted to meet them and get some sense of how they were going to react. Sometimes it's just pure devastation and sometimes they'd get angry at them for destroying their lives, he needed to know which side of the coin they fell.

"Sure."

Kim's phone kept buzzing so she turned it off. She'd spoken to Platt briefly but couldn't face anyone else. Platt had told her to get angry, sad, frustrated and then put it behind her and get some rest.

She couldn't do that with the constant buzzing so she turned it off and closed her eyes. She'd been moved up to the ward and the Doctor had been in to check her again and Kim was relieved that the everything had settled down. He asked her if she wanted something to help her sleep tonight but she was reluctant to take anything at the moment and never really had a problem sleeping.

When she woke a few hours later she could see Adam dozing in the chair and a she felt herself smile a little. She felt lighter, her adrenaline had waned and the sting had come out a little. She had tried to rationalise her choices and decisions and the outcome and for now she was in control of her feelings. Whether it continued she had no idea but for now she was focussed on the people in this room, the three of them. "Hey." She called softly. "You're back?"

Adam shot up suddenly. "What? Yeah, you okay?" He stood beside her bed and cautiously reached for her hand.

"I am, I feel better."

"Good. I bought you some things. Do you want something to eat? I can order in something. They bought you dinner but it looked like shit so I sent it back."

"Thanks. I am starving." Slowly she pushed herself up and swung her legs around over the edge of the bed and sat for a moment. "You gonna just stand there and watch me try and cover my ass with the stupid gown."

Adam winked. "Yep. I like the view."

"Typical. Hey, what's gone on? What did I miss?"

Adam brushed some hair back over her shoulder. "Go to the bathroom, we'll get some food and then talk yeah?"

_**So next up...that conversation and lets see if Kim really has reconciled her choices or whether it chews her up inside.**_


	3. No going back now

Voight suggested he take Hailey with him when he did the notification as she was on scene too and honestly it was the last thing he wanted to do. Not that he had any issue working with Hailey, they were well beyond that, he just didn't want to talk about Kim or the baby and knew that she'd pick away at him. He didn't have the energy for that.

Voight saw him baulk and he ended up sending Halstead instead.

Not that Halstead wasn't going to ask, he just wasn't going to pick at the scab like Hailey or even Atwater would.

"You wanna talk or not?" Halstead asked as they pulled out of the District parking lot.

"Not." Adam sighed. "Look, I appreciate that everyone wants to know that Kim's okay. I do, and she is. It's just…." He trailed off as he stared out the window.

"I get it. I'm glad Kim's okay, both of them. Tell her I'm thinking of her."

"Will do." Adam had already told him that he wanted to stop at Kim's and grab a couple of things on the way and then get dropped off at the hospital once they were done. There was some suggestion that Hailey and Vanessa would stop by on the way home and he asked them not too. "She's just not up for visitors." Kim hadn't specifically said anything but he knew her and he also wanted to be a bit selfish. He wanted to be the one to support her, that was his job.

"One more question?"

Adam just nodded.

"You?"

"I'm good."

Not that any notification was good but some were worse than others. Some people were too stunned to respond and often you were left wondering if they heard you at all, then there were the ones that knew it was coming and it was almost a relief.

This one wasn't like this, this one was heartbreakingly horrific. This was tough. The mother screamed and then flew into a rage, pounding her fists on Adam's chest and one landed on his chin sending him staggering backwards a little. He just stood there, too stunned to respond while her husband tried to stop his devastated wife's emotion laced attack. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." It was all Adam could say. "I'm sorry, we tried. We were too late."

Halstead stepped in and indicated that they all needed to sit down and just take a moment. "We can give you a few minutes if you like?"

"No, no. It's okay." The father shook his head. "Please, we need to know."

It was harrowing going through the details. "One of our officers received a phone call while she was on duty at the call centre. It was a 911 call. She sent two officers out to check it out but they came up short, Officer Burgess didn't believe it, she'd heard something in the girls voice and followed up again. It eventually led us to your daughter but unfortunately we weren't able to get there in time. We performed CPR until paramedics arrived but were unable to save your daughter. We are so so sorry." Adam spoke slowly and clearly.

"Where was she?"

Jay explained the situation as they knew it. "Unfortunately we couldn't save everyone and I know this is probably cold comfort but we did find and save 19 other girls who were in a similar situation to your daughter."

"Thank you for finding Emily."

"We really wish we could have saved her."

"What about this piece of shit who did this? Who is he? What's his name?"

Jay didn't want to get into the specifics, not until everything was finalised. "Under arrest. He will be charged with your daughter's murder and abduction."

"That's it?"

"No." Adam jumped in, he let Jay do most of the talking. "There are plenty of other charges yet to be laid. We are just working through them all. He's going away, for a long, long time. You can take my word for it."

They were both surprised when Emily's mother spoke. She had sat and said nothing since her initial reaction at the door. Jay and Adam had got up to leave after asking if they had any other questions and Jay had explained that they would need to claim their daughter's body. "This officer that found Emily?"

"Officer Burgess." Adam spoke quietly and Jay could sense that he was hoping to get out of here without talking about Kim. He knew he was worried that they would blame her if they knew what had gone on. Kim wasn't cleared for active duty, she should never have been there anyway.

"I'd like to meet her, to thank her."

"I don't know…"

The plea was heartbreaking. "She was the last person to talk to my daughter. The last person to hear her voice. Please." She grabbed Adam's arm. "Please."

He was like a deer caught in the headlights until Jay jumped in. "We'll see what we can do. Maybe in a few days. She's… " Adam glared at him, his silent plea to not tell them that Kim was in hospital. "…a little shook up right now." The last thing he wanted them to know was that Kim was pregnant. He had a sense of dread, the mother's desperation, her wild reaction to him concerned him. Would she do the same to Kim? Would she ask too many questions? Would Kim be able not to tell her the truth? There were too many what if's.

Jay ushered him out of the house and into the car. "You okay dude?"

"Yeah, yeah." Adam ran his hands over his face. "Nah. Kim's already blaming herself for Emily dying. She doesn't need this, not right now."

"What do you mean blames herself?"

"For not going in early enough, for waiting."

"Adam, you wait for back-up. Kim knows this, we all know this. That guy could've killed both of them, she had no idea if he had a weapon or not."

"She doesn't see it like that."

"She will." Adam wasn't so sure. Kim was going to carry this for a long time. "Nobody blames her, nobody."

Adam ordered some pizza from her favourite place without even asking her what she wanted. Kim wanted to be annoyed but it was sweet, he was just trying and up until today they were in a good place. Kim was trying to let herself get back there, back to where they were good because Adam hadn't done anything wrong. It was her, this was all on her.

She got up and went to the bathroom and Adam just looked expectantly when she came out. "It's all good Adam." Standing in front of him she felt a little overwhelmed by him because she desperately wanted to feel his arms around her but didn't think she deserved that kind of support. "What's that on your neck?" Kim made him tilt his head to the side and touched the scratch mark. "You scratch yourself, I mean obviously not by shaving."

"Nah. I think Emily's Mom caught me."

"Huh? What? What happened?" Her heart started thumping wildly and she felt nauseous all of a sudden. She took a sudden step back.

"You know how some people react. I'd just told her the news she dreaded the most and she attacked me." He tried to sound unsurprised, and it wasn't really. They'd all had notifications like that.

"She hates us, she hates me."

"No Kim, she doesn't hate us or you. She lost her daughter, she was devastated."

"Did you tell her what happened?"

"Yes."

"You told her that I was there and I choose not to go in and her daughter was murdered because of me."

"No, because that's not what happened."

"It was what happened." She screamed at him, thumping her chest violently. It was like she was trying to inflict pain on herself. "It was, it's my fault. I did this, she's dead because of me."

Adam was a little taken aback at the ferocity of her anger. It wasn't just on the surface, reacting to the heat of the moment, it had gone deep already. He reached for her arm and she reefed it away angrily and warned him not to touch her.

"Why can't you say it? Why can't everybody just say it? Nobody wants to look at me, nobody has come to see if I am okay…"

"I asked them to give you space and time to rest."

"I don't need you looking after me, you don't need to protect me."

"But I do."

"Why? Why? This is my fault."

"Because I love you…" There was no point trying to tell her it wasn't her fault right now, she wasn't going to listen and that was a realisation she had to come to by herself.

Kim held up her hand defiantly. "Don't. Don't try and manipulate me or distract me."

"I am not manipulating you or distracting you, I thought you needed to hear it and I needed to say it."

Kim stared at him, tears filling her pain filled eyes and they cascaded down her cheeks. "Adam I killed that girl." She cried painfully. "I killed her. She's dead because of me. I don't deserve your love or support."

"Yes you do, you always have. You know this."

"How can you not see it?"

"See what?"

"It's my fault. I need you to say it." She pushed him hard in the chest and he took half a step back and when she went at him again he grabbed both her wrists. He was careful not to hurt her and when she pulled against his grip he let go instantly.

"No."

"Adam….." It was an agonising few moments. Her anguish was written all over her face, in her body language and in her desperate words.

"You know, if you hadn't followed your gut after that call we may never have found Emily or those 19 other girls and her parents, their parents would still be sitting by the phone wondering what ever happened to their daughters. You; you did that. You gave them their daughters back." Adam couldn't stand back and let her destroy herself. "You didn't kill her, Daniel did, he stole her soul first and then he killed her. You didn't kill her."

Kim's breathing was ragged but she finally sat down heavily in the chair Adam had been using. He crouched down in front of her but knew it wasn't the time to reach out physically. "How can I forgive myself?"

"I don't know because I don't think you have anything to forgive yourself for but I understand that you do and I can't do that for you or tell you how."

The room was quiet, faintly you could hear the hustle and bustle of the ward outside. There was always a phone ringing, people talking, trolleys rolling past but they were quiet. Suddenly the door opened and they both jumped when a nurse came in. It had been hard not to hear the commotion coming from the room. "Everything okay?"

Kim nodded. "Yeah, just being an emotional pregnant woman."

"Good. Now let's just take some Obs. I need to check your blood pressure. Any bleeding? Cramping?"

"No, I just went to the bathroom and it's fine."

Adam slipped out just after the nurse came in to meet the delivery guy and grab their pizza. It gave him a minute to catch his breath. He would do whatever he had to do but it was exhausting, and he had no idea if he was getting through to her but he had to keep trying. He didn't expect this level of terror, he had never felt this out of control and didn't know what to do. Apart from Voight no one else could understand this feeling, this baby had changed everything in him and he hadn't expected that. Al would have and he missed him more than anything lately. He wished he'd repaired that relationship better than he had but he thought he had more time, more time to win his trust back but life was cruel and that was now his burden to carry. Just like this was Kim's burden.

"All good?" He decided they had to move away from the trauma of the day for a little while at least. Whether Kim would appreciate it he had no idea, but he was going to try. "What they say?"

"Everything is fine Adam."

"Good." He slid the pizza onto the tray over Kim's bed and opened the box. "Your fave."

"It is, it smells good." Kim reached for a piece. It was an uneasy peace. "I am starving."

Adam grabbed a piece and pulled up the chair beside the bed, popping his feet up on the edge of her bed. Making himself comfortable. Kim had already told him that she didn't need him staying, that once they'd had dinner she was going to get some rest and he could go home. She hated being here so the more she slept the quicker morning would come and she could go home. He'd be back in the morning to pick her up before he went to work. Voight had insisted that she have the rest of the week off. Kim didn't think it was necessary but she got no support from Adam or Trudy and truthfully two days off before the weekend would be good.

"Adam?" Kim didn't look at him when she spoke. "The baby, were you worried?"

"Terrified Darlin'."

"Why?"

"Because that's our future, that's our family. Nothing more important than that."

"Our family." She sighed. "Adam, I want to see Emily's parents."

"I know and you will."

"I want to do it alone. I need to do it alone."

That was no surprise, she'd done a lot of things during the past few weeks on her own and it did grind his gears a little. They had come to an understanding that they were in this together so it was hard to let this one go. Technically though this wasn't about the baby, not directly and he did understand her desire to do it alone. He agreed on one condition. "I'll drive you."


	4. A Life Saved

_**Grrr...Fan Fiction has been frustrating lately...hopefully this time works**_

Adam reached for his phone as it beeped on the bed beside him. He'd fallen asleep with it close just in case he was needed. '_I've been let go. Can you come get me please?' _Kim would have just caught a cab home but she knew Adam would be annoyed. As hard as it was right now she had promised him that they were in this together and this was part of that.

He fired off a quick reply that he'd grab a quick shower and be there within the hour. He smiled at her frustrated gif response but it gave him hope, she seemed in a better frame of mind. When he'd asked how _'they'_ were, she had answered that they were both rested and behaving.

By the time he arrived she was sitting on the edge of the bed scrolling through her phone. "About time." She grumbled. "I was so close to laying down far too much money on shit I am pretty sure we don't need."

"Such as?"

"A diaper genie."

"A what now?" He picked up her bag and slung it over his shoulder. "Is that someone who comes and like changes diapers at the click of the fingers?"

"No, it kinds wraps it and then stores it in the bottom cannister until you can take out the trash, oh and a baby wipe warmer."

Adam grabbed the phone out of her hand. "Okay Lady, you are bored. Time to go."

"Can you leave me your credit card?"

"No." He ushered her out the door after giving her the phone back. "I'm saving my money for Blackhawks and Cubs Memberships."

"What if it's a girl?"

"Daddy's little girl will love her Daddy dates." While the banter felt nice and normal they both knew it was only temporary but it was good to be in this place for a few minutes anyway. The swirl of heavy emotions would come back like the tide coming in. "What the Doctor say this morning?" Adam fell into step beside her, she wasn't slowing down for love nor money.

"Everything is fine Adam."

"I know, but you know, I need details. I'm a details kinda guy." He winked at her and Kim smiled despite herself. She knew she had to let him worry because telling him to stop was fruitless and accepting that this was how he was going to be was far less frustrating from both of them.

"Pftt, you are not." She scoffed playfully. "They did a scan, I'll send it to you."

"Oh." He hated missing out on them, he'd missed the first one which was a little bit of a scar he carried but they weren't in a good place back then. "All good."

"Heart beating wildly like yesterday, our little navel orange is happy as Larry." Kim waited until he opened the door of his truck to let her in. "The Doctor was in early, there wasn't time to call you."

After closing her door and throwing her bag in the back he climbed into the driver's seat. "It's okay Kim, I'm just happy that everything is good." He turned the engine on to start to warm up the inside. It was freezing out but he hadn't been inside the hospital long so it wasn't all that cold yet and insisted on seeing the video before he started driving. "Hi my little one." He cooed at the screen.

By the time he dropped Kim at home he was late for work although he'd called Voight and let him know that he was bringing Kim home first. He'd offered Adam the day off as well but he declined. "I think Kim would smother me if I stayed home."

Voight agreed. He was proud of him, he'd come a long way since he was that wide-eyed over enthusiastic annoying pain in everyone's ass. One thing he had always been though was a damn good cop with a heart that probably controlled him a little too much. That wasn't a bad thing, but it was not always a good thing either, getting the balance right was like walking a tightrope. As far as the baby thing went though, he had got it right and that impressed Voight. Voight could see through him, he was desperate for a family, a family he felt he never had growing up. It's why he did what he did for Antonio, Intelligence was his family and without this anchor he was always drifting. Kim and the baby gave him that anchor and yet every time he felt like it was holding firm, the tide would change and the anchor would start to drift a little.

Adam promised to talk to Voight about her meeting with Emily's parents but only if she promised to take it easy at home. "Platt has already chewed my ear off about not letting you anywhere near this place for the next few days. She's riding my ass."

"Platt always rides your ass. It's a sport."

"This is true, so humour me. Take pity on me, please." Kim agreed to relax for the day. The Doctor had told her that she needed to take it easy for a few days and the scare had given her enough of a shock to make her realise that she had to change and only she could do that. People were putting themselves out to help her adjust to her new place in CPD and she was resisting every little change.

It wasn't just her child, it was Adam's child as well. It was an overwhelming responsibility that she never really grasped until she saw the look of terror on his face. She was doing something incredible and it was time to embrace it.

A week later Adam pulled up outside the quiet house and it was nothing like he remembered. It felt more imposing for some reason. "Are you sure you'll be okay?" He had held Kim's hand for the last few minutes when he saw it starting to tremble. She had wanted to get this over and done with but Emily's parents asked for some time grieve and bury their child. They wanted to meet her but needed to be in the right head space to do it and that frustrated Kim and by extension Adam too because Kim was still wildly emotional and still blamed herself. They needed to close this chapter.

"Yes. I have to do this Adam, you understand that don't you?"

"I do."

"Everyone has tried to talk me out of it, why haven't you?" Voight, Halstead, her sister and Hailey had all told her to let it go but she couldn't. Atwater got it, probably because he knew her and he had talked to Adam. Adam regaled her last night with the three hours he spent yesterday in a surveillance van with Kevin and '_as you can imagine we didn't talk about the weather.'_

"Because I know you, I know what goes on in here..." He pointed to her chest then her head. "…and in here. They are just trying to protect you."

"And you're not."

"I would do anything to not sit here and watch you walk into that house, I want to go with you but you need to do this to forgive yourself and I have to be okay with that."

"Why?"

He just rolled his head to the side and gave her a bemused smile. It wasn't really necessary to say it.

Emily's mother hugged Kim as soon as she opened the door. Adam had called ahead and let them know that Kim was coming and arranged a time. "Thank you." She sobbed. "Thank you."

As soon as the mother started crying it started Kim off as well. "I'm so sorry I didn't save Emily."

"But you found her. You didn't give up." Emily's mother, Winnie tried to speak, her voice crackled with barely contained grief. Now that they had said goodbye to their girl all she wanted to do, to start the rest of her life was thank the person responsible for finding her little girl. "You found my baby."

That did Kim in. "I'm pregnant." She blurted out. "I'm pregnant, I wasn't supposed to be outside the District and I got to the hotel and Emily called me but I wasn't allowed to go in. I had to wait. If I hadn't waited then I could've saved her…"

"No, no. She was already gone." Both Winnie and her husband John had been given the details of the bitter fight between the Police and the perpetrator and how Kim had tried to resuscitate Emily.

"I'm so sorry, I will never forgive myself…"

Emily's father stepped in when his wife couldn't speak. "Please, come sit down." He ushered both his wife and Kim into the lounge.

"Emily…" he shook his head sadly. "We loved her but she was broken, she was broken a long time ago and we tried everything to save her. We hadn't seen her for more than a year, she hated us, she blamed us for not protecting her, even though we tried., we tried everything. Emily had a boyfriend; he was twenty-four and she was just fourteen, he groomed her online. It was an abusive relationship, emotionally, physically…" his voice shook a little "…and sexually. He got her hooked on drugs and she blamed us. I'd go and drag her home and the next day she was gone again and then one day we couldn't find her anymore, nobody knew where she had gone, we drove around for months and months looking for her. You found her."

"I still owed it to her and to you to save her, that's my job."

"You didn't give up, we did get her back in some way. We had no idea where she was. I don't think she would have ever survived this, she was dead inside." Winnie finally calmed down enough to speak. They knew what had gone on, they knew it was a sex-trafficking ring. They had spent the best part of the past few days coming to terms with that. "We got to say goodbye to our beautiful girl, she can't be hurt anymore, she's not hurting anymore. This is better than not knowing, that kept me awake at night. The worry, wondering where she was every minute of every day and now I know where she is, she's safe. They can't hurt her anymore."

"I thought of my baby before yours." Kim kept pushing, she wanted them to blame her, to justify her own feelings but they wouldn't.

"And I would think of mine before yours too, without a second thought. Sweetheart. Your baby is your blessing. I hope you never experience this pain. I hope your baby never brings you a day of heartache."

"I'm sorry." Kim repeated and Winnie finally go the sense of what the young woman needed.

"We don't blame you." She came and sat next to Kim and hugged her tightly. "Thank you for bringing our daughter back to us. I hope any other person who calls 911 for help has a Police Officer on the end of the line who cares as much as you do. And those other girls you saved, think of them, they are home with their families now. You saved so many lives, so many girls and their mothers and fathers, because the not knowing chews you up inside. You should be proud of yourself."

Kim talked them through the phone call, what Emily had said and why she didn't give up looking for her. It was heart wrenching and also cathartic. When she realised that these people had so much love in their heart for their daughter despite knowing she was too broken to be fixed and also understood the decision Kim made it gave her some hope that she could get past this.

"How do you get over this? How do you move on?"

"I don't know, right now we are trying to hold onto the fact that she is not suffering, all the suffering is ours now but we've been living like this for a long time, with the pain and the heartache and the uncertainty. We've been waiting for that knock on the door. I don't think I ever expected the feeling of relief to be so freeing." Winnie smiled sadly. "Please, don't torture yourself. We will always be grateful for everything you did and tried to do. Now you need to look after yourself and your precious new life because every baby is a gift. You and your husband are blessed."

"We are lucky. It was a surprise, it wasn't supposed to happen." Kim didn't bother correcting her about the lack of a husband. It was too complicated and unnecessary.

"Yes it was."

Kim didn't speak on the way home. She sat stiffy, her hands tightly clasped in her lap. Adam had asked if she was okay and she nodded and then continued to stare out the window. "They don't blame me."

"And how do you feel about that?"

"I don't know."

He wasn't sure if she wanted him to stay when he got her home but he stayed anyway. Kim disappeared into the bedroom and he heard the shower running so he took a seat on the sofa and waited.

Apart from the small table lamp the room was dark and he stared out of the window into the dark Chicago night and waited. Trying to guess what would come next. As someone explained to him, even though their baby was fine Kim still had to go through the stages of grief, they weren't always about death, sometimes it was grieving for the life you once had before everything changed. Trudy was surprising like that. He was hoping she was heading towards acceptance but he was here for whatever stage she was at.

When Kim reappeared she just stood there wrapped up in her comfort clothes, including his favourite hoodie until he held out his hand and Kim took at hesitant step towards him. "Come here." He urged her softly.

Kim curled herself into him, her head on his shoulder, her arms curled tightly against his chest and he quietly wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. "Let it go Kim."

So she cried in his arms until his shirt was soaked with her tears and he didn't move until she was done.

_**Well that's it for this little tale, I hope you enjoyed the alternate version of the what we got to see on the show.**_


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